Let’s face it—if you’ve ever tried to get a toddler to eat their veggies, take a bath, or go to bed, you already know what it's like negotiating with a master. Forget haggling for a good deal at a pasar malam—toddlers take the art of negotiation to a whole new level.
Here’s why dealing with a toddler might just make you rethink your negotiation skills (and how to survive it with your sanity intact).
1. The Delayed Answer Tactic
Pasar Malam Version: “Aunty, can you give RM10 for this? Ah, I’ll think about it... walk around first, then come back.”
Toddler Version: “Can you please eat your broccoli?” Blank stare. Then, after what feels like an eternity: “After one more episode of Bluey, okay?”
Survival Tip: Stay firm. Set a timer or countdown—toddlers can’t ignore a loud “Beep!” when their favorite show is over. Just be prepared to repeat yourself at least 50 times.
2. The “I’m Suddenly Distracted” Move
Pasar Malam Version: You’re deep in negotiation, but suddenly the stall owner is fussing with their stock, conveniently ignoring your RM5 offer.
Toddler Version: You’re halfway through a lecture about why they need to wear shoes, but suddenly they’re chasing the cat like they never heard you. Genius.
Survival Tip: Use short, direct commands. Toddlers have a shorter attention span than you. If the cat’s involved, it’s game over—bring the cat into the negotiation instead.
3. The “Last-Minute Add-On” Trick
Pasar Malam Version: “Okay, RM12 lah, but can give me two for this price?”
Toddler Version: “Fine, I’ll take a bath. But can I also have 10 rubber ducks, 3 boats, and... umm... wear my dinosaur suit while I do it?”
Survival Tip: Pick your battles. If they want to wear a dinosaur suit while taking a bath—honestly, why not? Just keep the ducks to a reasonable number.
4. The Ultimate Walkaway Power Move
Pasar Malam Version: You hesitate for just a second, and suddenly the stall owner says, “Okay okay, last price RM9!” You feel like you’ve won.
Toddler Version: Ask a toddler to do anything they don't want, and watch them literally walk away. Suddenly, you’re chasing them around the house, offering bribes you never thought possible.
Survival Tip: Stay calm, and don’t get sucked into the chase. Stand your ground—or better yet, make whatever they’re avoiding sound like the best thing ever. "Oh, you're not coming to put your shoes on? More cake for me then!"
5. The Unexpected Plot Twist
Pasar Malam Version: You’re about to close the deal when they suddenly throw in an extra item you never wanted, and now you're committed to buying more than planned.
Toddler Version: “Mummy, I’ll eat the broccoli IF you let me use your phone for 10 hours straight.” Wait, what? When did screen time get involved?
Survival Tip: Stay vigilant. Always expect a toddler to throw a wild card. When negotiating over veggies, keep distractions minimal, or you’ll end up giving away things you didn’t even know were on the table.
Conclusion:
Whether you’re haggling over prices at a pasar malam or trying to get your toddler to eat one single bite of carrot, the rules of negotiation are surprisingly similar—except toddlers are better at it. With a little humor, patience, and some sneaky reverse psychology, you’ll make it through.
Just remember, when it comes to toddler negotiations, no matter how skilled you think you are, the house (and by house, I mean the toddler) always wins. But hey, at least you get to enjoy the show!